Everything used to be so fine. Yes, our lives weren’t so perfect before, but now, looking back, we miss it. We miss every imperfect bit. All the sweat we broke, the stress we passed through, the traffic, the outings, the hangovers, the fun, the not so fun, we miss it all!
Now we are all stuck with our family and loved ones, no more of those fun things we used to do, and it started out great at first, we got to rest and relax, but now, things are taking a whole new turn and the lockdown is starting to get to us. Our loved ones seem to be getting on our nerves and everything is upside down.
Well, it is completely understandable, and in this article, you would understand why exactly you feel the way you do (don’t worry, you’re not a terrible person) and how to move around it, deal with it and control the temper and irritation you feel towards your loved ones.
WHY YOU FEEL THIS WAY?As earlier mentioned, during this lockdown, you may have noticed that you snap a lot at things that shouldn’t bother you so much, you seem easily irritated and upset most of the time and your anger slips out a little too much these days, don’t worry, it is only normal. You must understand that you are simply a victim of circumstance and there is nothing at all wrong with you. Here are a few reasons why you may be acting out and lashing out so much this lockdown period.
- LACK OF FREEDOM
Now, here’s a fun fact that you probably did not know: even though you are an introvert who usually does not go out, the moment the choice is taken away, it registers psychologically and your hormones become enraged causing you to lash out. Imagine you were put in jail for the first time, you are locked in and the guard leaves with the key. Usually, you are more likely to pull or push at the bars yelling your lungs out to be freed. That is exactly what you are doing emotionally, your mind keeps pushing at the bars yelling its lungs out and that is why you lash out so much.
- ENVIRONMENTAL STAGNANCY
This is another psychological fact, no matter how beautiful and serene a place is, when you’ve been there for too long, you begin to desire a new environment, a change of scenery, another environment to take in. Man was not designed to be stagnant and that is why we travel, invent new things and visit new places, all so that we can enjoy another culture, another life, another environment. Man’s nature is to be adventurous, so when the adventure is taken away, you become complacent and in turn lash out and get easily irritated, your loved ones are just in the way.
- THOUGHTS FEEDING
Another reason why you may be angry or upset at your loved ones unfairly and unnecessarily is because of what you may be feeding your thoughts with. When you visit social media, Facebook, or twitter, you realize that everyone seems to be complaining about the lockdown, about what they are supposed to do, but can’t. About what they miss, about what they wish to do, about how they want this to be over. It is all just complacency, so when you see these posts, you are constantly reminded about how bad you feel, causing your emotions and irritations to be heightened.
- BLAME GAME
Somehow, you are constantly blaming others as a result of the inadequacy you feel and this, in turn, causes you to lash out as well. You feel everyone is problematic but you and this makes you go crazy and insane.
Don’t worry, all these are happening because you’ve not mastered the steps to be in control of yourself and not be the slave of anger or irritation especially at the detriment of your loved ones.
To move one and become better this lockdown, there are two main steps you need to take to ensure you do not lose your temper with your loved ones. After we address these two main things, we can move on to more secondary steps to take, but the two steps are
- Be patient towards yourself
- Evaluate your personal beliefs.
Let us address them one after the other.
- BE PATIENT TOWARDS YOURSELF
In this lockdown, to make the best use of it and not become a monster at home, to make sure you do not lash out and lose your temper with your loved ones, you have to learn to be patient towards yourself.
What does this mean exactly? Being patient towards yourself means having the foresight and rationality to rethink your actions and words before you take or say them. You must realize you are a victim of a circumstance and overcome it, you have to be patient towards yourself.
You must give yourself time and the patience needed to deal with others, but it must first come from you.
When you realize you have to be patient towards yourself, it yields fruits, you become empathic and understanding towards others around you. You must not let those frustrations get to you, and when it does, breathe through it, you could decide to go to a room alone to calm yourself down so you do not lash out on others.
Here’s a method that may help you: when next you feel angry and frustrated, and you remember you need to be patient towards yourself, do this practical act: find a room somewhere where you can be alone, it does not matter where it is, even the bathroom, once you are alone, count to ten very slowly and breathe, it may seem silly at first, but trust me, it works.
When you begin counting down from ten, by the count of 6, you would realize your nerves are steadying, that is how to be patient towards yourself. While it is important for others to be patient with you, you must learn to be patient towards yourself as well. It works.
- EVALUATE YOUR PERSONAL BELIEFS
This is another important way to check your temper and irritation towards your loved ones. Apart from learning to be patient towards yourself, you must also evaluate your personal beliefs.
So what does it mean to evaluate your personal beliefs? Well, simple, first of all, before going into all that, you must understand that these steps are purely physiological. They may have real-life effects and actions, but they are purely psychological.
So, to evaluate your personal beliefs means to revisit the ideas that make you who you are. You see when we lash out and become angry at our loved ones; we are being irrational and acting on impulse. Impulse is your enemy! Impulse makes you want to tear your hair out and scream from the roof, but don’t lose it just yet. Evaluate your personal beliefs. You must remember who you are, your values, your ideas, all the thought patterns, and positive opinions that make you who you are. Don’t just evaluate it, tell it to yourself every now and then, sometimes, impulse makes you forget.
I don’t know what your values are but continually tell yourself and remind yourself on a daily basis, the impulse will try to make you forget or go crazy, but don’t oblige.
To evaluate your personal beliefs, think through these ideas and reassert them very often. When you do this, somehow, your anger is in check and you do not lash out so much. Don’t worry, you do not have anger issues, you are not a monster. We can play the blame game here… It is the lockdown making you go crazy.
So, those are the two key steps you need to undertake so you don’t lose your temper with your loved ones during this lockdown. You are all locked in together, getting angry and lashing out would only make it worse. They are also locked in, remember, they are also being greatly affected, so it is important you use those two key steps and keep your anger in check.
Be patient towards yourself and evaluate your personal beliefs. Here are other steps you may take that may help
- Distract yourself: find something worthwhile to do on a regular basis, it may be those things you’ve been pushing up all these years: write that book, do that interior decoration project, improve yourself, re-evaluate your goals, targets, and ambitions. Do something productive each day.
- Spend quality time: you may be less likely to get angry at the people you spend quality time with. By quality time, it does not mean sitting around tapping away on your iPhones. Play a game, share jokes, do an indoor sport, get in shape together. Anything you all do as a family or as lockdown partners is one step away from losing your anger irrationally.
- Do not focus on the present: something like this was mentioned before. Try not to focus on the lockdown and all it represents, reminisce on the past, but more importantly, look to the future, make plans, and be positive so all the lockdown frustrations don’t get to you.
At the end of the day, you are the master of yourself. Do not let this lockdown control your temper take charge, and above and beyond the secondary steps listed above, try more consciously to be patient with yourself and to evaluate your personal beliefs.
We would all come out of this, bigger, better, and more improved.
Stay Safe.
